by Sequoia | Apr 27.2010

I think life has an interesting way of throwing curve balls. Just when you think everything is going just the way you want, everything sort of falls apart……and out of the ashes comes what you need. I have learned so much about myself and everything around me over the past few years and I’d be remiss if I didn’t share. My goal for this note is to be a blessing to someone else. I don’t know who you are or what you need, but I hope you can find it here. I also hope that you’ll add to this note so that it can be a blessing to yet another person.

Lessons Learned

Always put God first. Things just work out better that way.

Always be true to yourself. Know who you are, what you want and don’t accept less.

Never allow your feelings to be discounted. Someone who truly cares about you will not only recognize your feelings, but they will regard them with the greatest care and respect.

Never apologize for how you feel. You’re human. You have feelings and emotions and they deserve to be respected. Do, however, be careful of how you express your feelings to others.

Regard your time as you regard your money…Only spend it on things and people that are worth it.

You should never have to wonder how the one you love feels about you….

Never accept less than you want from a relationship. If you’re not getting your needs met, don’t be afraid to move around.

Be sure that you express what you want and need from a relationship as well as what your expectations are with your significant other (preferable before they’re your significant other) so that they’re able to 1. work towards meeting those needs 2. decide they can’t/don’t want to meet them. It’s not fair to be upset with them for not meeting your expectations, when they never knew what they were. It’s also not fair to expect them to just “know” what you want. They wind up guessing and their guesses won’t always be correct.

Communication is key!!!! Communication is key!!! Communication is key!! Had we communicated better, we’d probably still be together…..then again, I can say what I want…we could have been the best communicators in the world and if it wasn’t in God will, it wasn’t going to work.

Not now doesn’t mean never….maybe this is just my hopeful thinking, but another ex taught me this one. Just because things aren’t right today doesn’t mean that they won’t be right sometime in the future. That said, don’t waste your time waiting for someone to come around.

Someone who truly wants to be with you will be with you. You don’t have to try to convince them that it’s the right thing to do. Like Uncle Steve said, if a man loves you, there’s nothing you can do to get him to stop….

For my ladies, I’ve heard this time and time again and I never really thought that it was relevant, but now I see the wisdom in it. Be interested in the one who’s interested in you. SOOOOO many times we have that sweet guy who would do anything for us and who sincerely loves and cares about us and we brush him off for someone who often isn’t nearly as good for us. Like the bible says, “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing.” A man knows when he’s found what he wants/needs.

Don’t waste time worrying about what could have, would have and should have happened.

Never prolong a relationship that you know isn’t working….for any reason. Something that’s meant to be will be.

If it’s not in God’s will, it won’t be. Never forget that.

Never be afraid to ask God to intervene. I asked God to remove all of the people in my life who didn’t have my best interest at heart and got dumped the next day….I swear he always moves quickly when I pray this prayer.

***Let me clarify this one….It’s not that my ex didn’t have my best interest at heart. We’re still really good friends. We just weren’t right for each other, and staying together wasn’t in either of our best interest. I don’t want to paint him out to be a bad guy, because he’s not….I just wish things were different, but hey, not my will, but God’s will be done. 🙂

Be ready for God to intervene when you ask him to do so.

Always remember that regardless of what the world says about you, all that matters is what God says about you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Never make life decisions based on someone who doesn’t care enough to be a part of your life…or who isn’t worthy to be a part of your life.

I’m off to bed for now. Please feel free to leave your own lessons learned 🙂

I’ve always thought The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill was one of the greatest cds ever, however now I have a much greater appreciation for it. Enjoy the song 🙂

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Sequoia

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